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Wednesday, November 03, 2004

It's 11:06 CST in Milwaukee. The "election" will go on for weeks, as organizing a vote in Ohio seemed to be too much for the intellectual cretins who make up that state's Board of Elections. If you want "election" results, wait a few months and in the meantime, CRY!

We're trying something new here at The Spencer File. I have noticed with increasing frequency that my posts here are becoming stale, unfunny and not at all interesting.
In an attempt to remedy this, I have called in reinforcements. Once a day, I shall have Tara, an acquaintance from Minnesota, e-mail to my personal e-mail address a random topic/word of her choosing. I shall write about whatever she lights and places on my doorstep.
Fear not! There will still be the occasional bit of personal gossip, reflection and angst to throw into the Spencer File. Until such time as I can train myself to be interesting (this could be YEARS), I shall apply this new format to this space.
So without further ado........

Time
It was my grandfather who said, "You see them?" referring to my older female cousins, "They have their hearts in the right place, but they can never get anywhere, and that's because they don't respect the clock".
I once saw a Poster that said "WORK: A Prison Of Measured Time". The person who first thought of this poster should win the Nobel Prize.
"God finds you naked and he leaves you dying/what happens in between is up to you". So says Robyn Hitchcock. So true.
You would think that given the revelation of this knowledge, we would not waste time on things that we later find as an impediment to human development: arguments, waiting in line, whether it be for our own money, a bus or the return of Jesus. The inventors of the sundial, the clock and the wristwatch are the Devil's answer to the Holy Trinity (you know, The Old Guy, The Younger Beachy Guy and The Dove). Only man would devise a way to measure what he has lost. I am surrounded by clocks in my life, but I absolutely REFUSE to wear a wristwatch. First problem with watches for men; we have HAIR on our wrist, which is easily pulled out when the watch is removed. I HATE that. Second problem: to me, it feels like a unihandcuff. I can think of no one in my sphere of existence that likes to be held at the wrist. I feel jailed by jewelry when I wear a watch.
"Time is too slow for those who wait
Time is too swift for those who fear
Time is too long for those who grieve
And time is too short for those that laugh"
-It's A Beautiful Day
The biggest fear that we carry with us in life is the fear of demise. The survival instinct is strong in all of us. Once we're here, we don't feel like leaving; EVER. For women, we have invented a mountain of cosmetics that supposedly "slow the aging process of your face". For men, it's that gullible twenty-something with big tits looking for a fling with an older, more secure man that keeps us from thinking of the grave. For both genders, there's hair dye, the occasional margarita on a cruise ship and that one song from our youth that makes us temporarily forget about the fat hanging over our belts.
We're born, we eat a few things, we anally expunge what we don't need until we lose the strength to do either and then we die. ALL OF US. NO EXCEPTIONS! For every living being on this planet, whether there are billions just like you or if you're the last of your breed, this is your time. If someone tells you where to go or what to do, you look them right in the eye, stamp one foot and say "NO! This is MY time. You are in my way of making my mark in this world while I'm here and I don't have to take this from you!". If one person does this, they'll be called a crank. If TWO people do it, you have self-absorption by the power of two. If THREE people do it, why it's then that you genuinely have a movement that can change the world. There's no time to accept boundaries. There is no time for worrying about someone else's opinion of you. You are not a tool to balance the universe. You ARE the Universe.
Take the time to do EVERYTHING you've always wanted to do. Tomorrow is not coming. Jump out of an airplane, drink a whole bottle of scotch, love like no one has ever loved and take the chance that it may not last. There's no reason to worry about what someone else does. There's YOU. Control YOU and you control the universe. Don't look with skepticism at any one man, for that person may hold a key to your next adventure, whether that person be good or bad....hmmmm, from good, bad; from bad, good. Just like that there is a balance to your universe, and suddenly you find yourself bulletproof.
When you seize your own destiny, time disappears and becomes just a caveman -like observation of the sun and the moon. You won't be counting the hours on Friday until the weekend; you won't be looking at your calendar wondering why your period's late; You'll stop living paycheck to paycheck. What you have is you, in tune and playing your own song. Despite the fact that your clock is still ticking, you won't feel it. You have existence without boundaries of time and age, leaving only one question whenever you find yourself standing still.
"What are you waiting for?"..

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